Not A Replacement
by Anastasia Kaliska Dyani Malfoy
Summary: That night, after Rush's spectacular effects...


Young waited till everything calmed down before he went seeking out Rush again. Everyone was in their rooms for the night, desperately trying to rest after that tiring event that made almost everyone pee in their pants. Though he has to admit to himself, that was pretty awesome of Rush to do. No faster way to get rid of Telford he'd say.

But that still left his nagging question. Did Rush really want to go home?

Young knew that there were times when he'd use the stones and talk to his wife and after the obligatory arguing, just for a moment things would be right again in his book, like they were before this whole mess happened, until she'd bring up things he'd rather forget. But there were also times where he would be walking around the Destiny and he'd feel this sense of happiness. Like there was no where else he'd rather be. Touching the walls as he walked past made his pain ease up in his body. It was weird but he didn't really feel like explaining it.

Looking up, Young noticed he reached Rush's room and knocked only once before letting himself in.

Rush was on the bed, with his hands over his eyes and his shoulders shaking. Young didn't know whether he was laughing at his mad genius or crying because of it.

"You and I need to talk. Again."

Rush slowly lowered his hands as he stared at Young with bloodshot eyes. "You know Colonel, we really have to stop meeting like this. What would people say?" Young just watched as Rush let out a sigh and relaxed more fully against his bed. "But then you always wait to see me in the cover of darkness. Like some cheating husband. Isn't that right?"

He ignored the implications put there by the tone of Rush's voice and limped over to the bed. Guess Rush found out about the whole '_I fucked my wife_.' How, Young would never know. "I need to know why you sabotaged the experiment."

"Why I sabotaged it? You mean besides the fact that it never would have worked? And that those young kids," he snorted as he said this, "had no idea what they were doing? I've worked my whole life studying the Ancients and I can say with most certainty that their plan never would have worked. I'd rather not die if that's alright with you." He crossed his arms and looked over to the far wall, trying to avoid Young's eyes.

"We don't know that it wouldn't have worked. We could have gotten a lot of people home today. People that don't need to be here. Can't handle being here."

"Are you deaf Colonel? What part of 'It never would have worked?' isn't processing to you?"

Young felt the bed dip as Rush attempted to climb out of it, probably in a desperate attempt to get away from him. Young grabbed his arm and dragged him back to the bed, pulling him close to his chest. "I heard you the first time." He gave into his urge that he had been feeling since he stepped into this room and nuzzled the back of Rush's neck. Rush was still for a moment before leaning against him, tilting his head back as Young placed a kiss on the nape of his neck.

"I know that you….and your wife…..I will not be second place for your wife Colonel." Rush whispered into the quietness of the room after awhile. He felt the bed move and the arms around his waist retreating and looked down at his bedspread, blinking back tears of hate, of fury, of outright unfairness. So this is the way it had to be? He scooted to the other edge of the bed and laid down, his head sinking into the pillow and he glared at the far wall, refusing to let the tears fall. Sometimes it just wasn't worth to fight anymore. He hadn't felt this way about somebody since his wife had….

Then the arms returned as Young settled alongside him more fully, tugging the sheet at the end of the bed up to their waists. He pulled Rush across the bed and into the circle of warmth and protection his arms held. His feet tangled with Young's as he got comfortable.

"Sooner or later you're going have to give up Rush. This can't go on for much longer."

"Never." Rush replied right back.

Young sighed a bone weary sigh and pressed another kiss to Rush's neck, then one to his jawbone, trailing all the way up to his forehead and gently pressing one there. He knew Rush had his reasons, probably more than anyone else on this ship but just once he would like Rush to tell him why. "You are not a replacement. If anything she is. As if you could ever be second place." Young's arms tightened around Rush's waist. "I just wanted you to know that."

Then Young stopped fighting his tiredness and fell into the wonderful arms of sleep.

Rush's angry tears turned into ones of happiness. They were at the edges of his eyes because he refused to blink them back anymore. And in the cold, beautiful silence of his own room, where it was just him and Everett, because it always went back to just him and Everett, for as long as he could remember, he could let his true feelings show.

Snuggled up in his arms, with his breath puffing out against his neck in warm burst patterns, Rush let the tears fall.


End file.
